About a Project Just Begun

Among the many things of which I have made no secret is my long time playing, running, and studying tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs). I’ve got a whole tag about them for this webspace, for example, and the subject has popped up in other writing I’ve done, such as the piece linked here. It should be clear at this point, with my having been involved TTRPGs for more than twenty-five years, that I’m fond of them, and it makes sense that, being thus fond, I would want to share with others and bring more people into the hobby. If nothing else, doing so means I have more people to play with, and more people to play with makes it more likely there will continue to be games to play. I delight in the prospect and the (admittedly small shred of) hope for the future it represents.

Shiny math rocks go clack clack clack.
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To do a little bit more to advance the cause, as it were, I’ve recently taken up a contract position with my local library. (I even put it on the resume, here.) Given who I am, that I would work for a library should not be a surprise. (Indeed, when I was job-searching, I even put in for a full-time clerking job at another library. It didn’t work out, clearly, but it was one of the few applications I put in that didn’t provoke the “Why would you want this job?” response I got an awful lot.) But that that job is explicitly to run a D&D game for middle-school-age kids might be a bit of one, even if it is entirely welcome. (On my part, it very much is. There are at least a few others who welcome it, clearly, since other kids than mine are enrolled.)

There are details I cannot share, of course. I am still learning names, for one, and even when I learn them, since minors are involved, I’m not going to include that in my reports. Even my own daughter, whose name I do have some right to make free with, gets elided; there’re reasons I refer to her as Ms. 8 in my public writings. And, because it is possible that my players will actually look at my writing here (I should be so lucky as to have the readership!), I’ll not go into details about future plans, even though I have them. But I can, and almost certainly will, report on what happens in the game and with my players, doing so partly to cement my own memories of things, and partly in the hope that what I do will prove useful for others, whether as an example of what to do or as one of what to avoid.

The first session of what is, at least initially, a limited run began with a sort of Session Zero. For those unfamiliar, Session Zero is a preliminary meeting of a gaming group in which comments about basic assumptions to be observed at the table are discussed. Conduct among participants, general expectations about the game, and character formation are common topics, and those got addressed (at least in passing; there’s more that can be said and more will almost certainly need to be said as matters progress); I also gave a bit of a working definition of TTRPGs (for which I borrow from Mackay’s The Fantasy Role-playing Game, which has informed my previous work).

The Session Zero stuff done and time remaining in the planned session–the library can only offer so much space for so long at a time, after all–the players began to enjoy events at the Childsend Festival of Hanlon Village, a manor town in the fief of the imaginatively-named Lord Hanlon. I used Curio Solus’s “Festival Activities” from GM Binder, with a few quick edits for age-appropriateness, finding the games easily accessible to the several new-to-the-game players and manipulable by the few with experience, as well as a way for all of us to start to get a feel for how the system works and how the characters work. The players chose a few carnival games to play, enjoying each and doing well with them, and how they relate each to the others began to emerge before time ran out on the session.

The kids seemed to enjoy themselves, and I was pleased to be able to run an in-person game again. It’d been a while, and while I’m aware of myself as being rusty, I’m also aware of the rust as already starting to break off. Another session is planned for this coming Thursday, and I already know there will be a couple of events to come…which I need to sketch out. It’s a kind of writing I’ve done at length before, albeit in different systems than that in which I’m running a game now (the 2024 version of Dungeons & Dragons, largely for reasons of accessibility); I imagine I’ll find my way clear to doing it, and to giving the kids a good game to play.

I am, of course, open to ideas. If you have them, I’d love to hear them–and if you’d like to get mine a little bit quicker, drop me a line!

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Too Soon to Be a Reminiscence, But It’s Still About #Bandtober

I‘ve not made a secret of volunteering with the band programs at my local school district. Even before my daughter, Ms. 8, enrolled in them, I started doing what I could to help them out, announcing their halftime shows, hauling pit equipment, and performing occasional patch-work on instruments so that they could be taken out onto the field one more time. It’s been a pleasure and a privilege to get to do so for a couple of years now, and I hope to be able to continue to do so for at least a few more years.

Yeah, it felt like this.
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Volunteering with the bands this year has taken me to an awful lot of football games, at home and away–and away games are generally away, two hours and more of drive time for me and up to half again as much for the students as they ride their wholly unmagical yellow school buses from our small town to that against which they play on any given week. (There have been more away games than home ones, too, given some ongoing construction concerns.) Last week was not an exception, even if, due to the threat of heavy inclement weather, the schools opted to swap game dates, so that the varsity teams played Thursday and their junior-varsity counterparts played Friday.

The irony was lost on few when, a few minutes into the first quarter of the game, the heavens opened and dumped something like an inch and a half of rain before the quarter ended.

I helped the students get things packed up that would not take the rain well: woodwind instruments, whose pads would swell and deform from too much wet, and pit equipment, some of which relies on circuits and power sources that don’t react well with water. And so I was, like them, soaked to the skin, and soon started to feel the creeping chill of a darkened evening after a front rolled through. Unlike them, I had had experience with such things, and I was able to help them gain experience with how to deal with them.

We were all wet, yes, and there was no sense denying it. And the woodwinds and pit needed to be put away. But the brass and the battery remained, and they played. At first, it was a scant handful of them. A baritone player whose plume drooped damply but whose spirits stood strong, blasting out a fanfare he’d been working on for weeks when the football team managed to make a good play on an unexpectedly muddied field. A sousaphone player blasting out the horn-call a departed friend had figured out. A drummer beating out a tattoo in time with the cheerleaders’ ongoing efforts. Each doing something against the shock of sudden water since passed, and each encouraged by a clap on the shoulder or a smile.

Seeing such, others soon joined. Sections stood to sound their songs. Drum majors, freed to call their cadences, queued up pieces and had the band play them. Clarinetists and flautists and saxophonists, hands without horns, lifted their voices to yell their pride and hope. Drummers hammered out cadences, and the band danced with them as they had hardly done before, those with horns swinging them as cued, those without feeling the rhythm and responding nonetheless.

The band that night was a band, moving as one in many parts and feeling, clearly, the exaltation of pouring themselves into a performance. And I was proud to be even so small a part of it as I was.

I look forward to seeing them do it again, though I’ll hope for a little drier a seat next time around.

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series, Entry 473: Assassin’s Fate, Chapter 14

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.


After a somewhat extended commentary from the Servant Symphe regarding the Fool, “Paragon‘s Bargain” begins with Fitz trying to fill his days aboard the liveship with useful tasks, only to find himself wracked with regrets regarding Bee. Fitz does learn some details about the Rain Wild river and how the liveship operates upon it, and the patterns of his days aboard and of his company’s are related.

Tempus fugit…et dracones.
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An evening comes that interrupts the regular pattern, with Brashen and Althea requiring Fitz to dine with them. They explain their concerns about the Paragon‘s behavior on the trip to him, relating some of the ship’s history and expressing unease at the increasing association between the liveship and Amber. Their talk together is interrupted by upset from the liveship, the visage of which has transformed to something more draconic. The Fool as Amber had administered Silver to the liveship, which surges with power and unrealized desires. Fitz realizes the truth of the ship’s words about its draconic nature, and he and others begin to be overwhelmed by the latent power in the dragons that make up Paragon.

A brief fracas ensues, after which conference is undertaken about events. The Fool as Amber explains the reasoning behind the events; the Paragon has been to Clerres and can return there, willingly in exchange for the opportunity to drink enough Silver to become the dragons that should have been. Brashen and Althea recognize that they will be professionally undone by such an event, contracts they had made broken by the preemption of their vessel and work, and the Fool asserts that Bee yet lives, so that the haste for Clerres becomes important. Fitz is obliged to reveal more of himself and his daughter than he would have done, to his cold anger, and he finds himself confronting the liveship again, if briefly.

Returning to his cabin, Fitz finds that the Silver he had been given remains intact, and he returns to Brashen, Althea, and Amber. More difficult discussion follows, and Fitz is convinced, at last, that his daughter yet lives.

The present chapter makes use of the deus ex machina trope, and pointedly. It’s not the first time the Realm of the Elderlings novels have engaged in it–examples present themselves here, here, and here, among others–and it’s not necessarily a bad thing that it happens, as I’ve noted elsewhere. I am somewhat struck by it in the present chapter, however, because it appears to contradict earlier in-milieu assertions, and without enough cause to excuse it. That the Silver the Fool-as-Amber administers would have powerful effects upon the Paragon is to be expected; the substance is repeatedly asserted to be singularly potent, and the wizardwood of which the liveship is made is itself more than moderately magically active. That it would have transformative effects is not beyond expectation, either; it is noted earlier in the Realm of the Elderlings works that the dragons were themselves enhanced by access to it, that enhancement doing much to explain their possessiveness regarding it.

The notion that it could restore to life creatures long dead from their reshaped and incomplete cocoons–because that is what wizardwood is, and it surpasses expectation that every scrap of both cocoons made into the Paragon is present within the vessel–is, to my reading, too much, however. I find myself wondering if the bargain that has been struck is an authorial oversight or a lie on the part of the Fool-as-Amber. In the former case, it would be an unfortunate lapse, one that diminishes the quality of otherwise excellent work. In the latter case, it would seem to be a substantial deviation of character behavior, and while that might be explicable as a result of urgency, it is still strange to consider against more than a dozen novels that don’t exactly lack for urgency in their events; it still comes off as a weak point in the writing, which is always sad to see.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading Hobb’s writing. I’ve spent a lot of money to get to do so. I point both of these out as support for the idea that I am fond of Hobb’s work; I return to it again and again for reason. I do not make comments against it because I dislike it; I make the comments that I do because, despite my overall enjoyment of and appreciation for the work, there are places where it does not do as well as others, and it would be dishonest of me to ignore them.

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Another Reminiscence as #Bandtober Draws Onward

While it is the case that no few marching bands have had their contest seasons end, it is also the case that many are moving ahead to higher-level contests; Bandtober is far from done, and so I will have more to say about it yet than the one or two comments I’ve made about it in the past few weeks. One part of that “more” is that I have continued to work with the marching band at my local high school, not only because my daughter is in the band program and I want her to have the best possible program as she moves ahead, and not only because my being out in the community and helping with such groups is good for me and for the business I manage, but also because I have long benefited from strong band programs, and I believe in them as Good Things (yes, the capitals are on purpose). What I learned from being in bands across years has done a lot to sustain me, and it has opened up opportunities for me that would not have been available had I not had the experiences I did in the band programs that were far kinder to me for far longer than I deserved; I do want other people to have such opportunities, and so I work to help make them available, even if only in small ways as I am able.

It’s not me, but it’s been me…
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My third year of high school was an interesting year to be in the band. The school district where I was enrolled had declined to replace the marching band uniforms I and the rest of those in the band had worn my freshman and sophomore years despite those uniforms being clearly well beyond their expected lifespan. Many or most of them were mildewed through, the fungus resisting all attempts to dry-clean it away. Many or most of them were stained with years of adolescent sweat that had stewed in uniform bags and dark closets, what should have been white yellowed beyond redemption and what was blue splotched and speckled with dark spots that no scrubbing would take out. No few of them had hook-and-loop closures that had long since failed but still demanded wear, obliging several to trust themselves to safety pins that all too often came undone and hooked themselves into the backs of necks, adding bloodstains to already-befouled jackets. And for all of that, for all the complaints across years about all of it, the district shrugged its collective shoulders and muttered something about budget constraints before buying jockstraps in bulk and pom-poms aplenty.

The band’s answer, or the answer fit for anything resembling public discussion, was to have each member purchase their own uniform for the year. Given the show we marched (“1945,” complete with swing classics and patriotic medleys) and where we were going to start marching it (Kerrville has long been billed as a retirement community, and a lot of the retirees were and are veterans, no few of whom then remembered the 1940s), the decision was made to have those uniforms mimic the khaki uniforms of World War II US service personnel, complete with rank markers to denote class and leadership positions. They weren’t perfect replicas, of course, but they worked well enough for what we needed them to do. (That the color guard wore maroon didn’t hurt, either; there were and are a lot of graduates from Texas A&M in town.)

I remember the uniforms taking more care and maintenance than the ones we had had before, but that had the advantage of having me in a clean getup every time I took the field. (Taking care of my uniform is also part of how I learned to iron a shirt and trousers, skills I have definitely used since.) I also remember that, between the publication of our buying our own uniforms and how we performed in them, the school district found space in the budget to buy a new set of uniforms (for which I was the test run, as it happened; it might have been coincidence that the “display model” sent was in my sizing, but perhaps not). And that outward show of support, I am given to understand, helped things continue in a good way for a while…but by that time, I wasn’t around to see what was happening. My brother was, but I had other concerns then.

Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have been more open then than I was to keeping in touch with people and institutions in which I had played some part. It’s certainly the case that, as I’ve moved back and moved on, I’ve searched for connections; I’d’ve had an easier time of doing so had I not made as much of a point of letting them go in my youth. I’m fortunate that the work I do now allows me to do something to establish new ones, and I can hope that what I do here and now will help those who have followed after me to have it at least a little easier than I did.

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With Apologies for the Delay

There are some times I find that I
Am up to my elbows or to my eyes
In work; it’s always a surprise
Despite how often it happens.

Closer than many things to the truth…
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Alas that this is such a day
When I would rather be at play,
But I’m at work, and so I pray
For strength, as often happens.

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series, Entry 472: Assassin’s Fate, Chapter 13

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.

This is another chapter that discusses sexual assault and torture.


After an excerpt from Bee’s dream journals, “Full Sails” begins with a return to Bee as she remains Dwalia’s captive. She assesses her situation aboard ship and her confinement, noting overheard conversations and plotting to escape Dwalia and her company. Part of the plot involves accommodating Vindeliar, who reveals more of Clerres’s organization and beliefs. Bee almost exposes herself to his magics in a moment of inattentive compassion, but she masters herself and learns more of the limitations of his abilities.

Probably not so nice as this…
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As Bee considers further what she has learned and overhears yet more, some news of the Pirate Isles and what faces merchants traveling through them, Vindeliar makes to join her. Bee presses the man for more information, and he reluctantly admits that the Unexpected Son is a potential threat to Clerres. Vindeliar comes to believe Bee is using the information to change things unacceptably, however, and soon has Kerf restrain her, taking her below. In confinement, she challenges Dwalia again, only for Dwalia to relate what she did do the Fool and what awaits Bee in Clerres.

The ship on which Bee travels as Dwalia’s captive, beset by weather, pitches, knocking Vindeliar unconscious. Bee attempts to suborn Kerf and attacks Dwalia. Vindeliar regains consciousness, however, and resumes control of Kerf, who removes Bee from Dwalia. In the ensuing fracas, Bee escapes into the bowels of the ship.

The present chapter is helpful in laying out more of the structure of Clerres. The detail that the Servant in the north tower passes down a name is of interest–although it must be noted that the character providing the information, Vindeliar, is not wholly reliable as a narrator. The novels in which he appears make clear that his perceptions and understandings are sharply limited and curated, so it is not necessarily the case that what he says can be taken entirely at face value, even aside from Vindeliar being Bee’s direct captor, whose words should not be trusted for that reason alone.

I am reminded as I reread the chapter of the idea of the butterfly effect. It’s a common enough concept that I don’t think I need to elucidate it here, but, as I have looked back over the bits of this rereading, I find that I have not noted it earlier, and I really ought to have done so. The Fool, as memory serves, remarks at many points throughout the Realm of the Elderlings novels that small changes end up making big differences; a metaphor used at one point (where, exactly, escapes me at the moment; there are many conversations between Fitz and the Fool) is a small rock put in the path of a wheel that forces the wheel’s path to shift (with admitted unpleasantness for the rock). That is, the Fool makes much of small changes exerting ongoing effects–the butterfly effect, in brief.

There’s enough related imagery in the novels to further the reading, of course. There is, for one example, Bee’s whispered verse to Fitz in “My Own Voice” in Fool’s Assassin, and there’s Nettle’s handling of Tintaglia at the end of Golden Fool; both associate Fitz’s daughters with butterflies, their wings making storms happen far away and later on. The life-cycles of the dragons are strangely mimetic of butterflies (and, admittedly, other insects), and I recall that the Fool seems to employ such imagery from time to time. I’ll admit that I wasn’t reading for such details and that I probably ought to have been…but I doubt this is the last time I’ll work through the Realm of the Elderlings novels, so I may well return to it again.

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series, Entry 471: Assassin’s Fate, Chapter 12

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.


Following some commentary by a Bingtown Trader about the origins of the liveships, “The Liveship Paragon” begins with Fitz considering his own image on the figurehead of the eponymous vessel. The Fool as Amber claims to be able to explain, something about which Fitz expresses doubt before returning to his contemplation of Trehaug as he approaches it aboard Tarman. The liveship barge docks alongside what had been the Ludlucks’ ship, and Amber, the Paragon, and the ship’s crew exchange greetings.

Oh, yes, this again.
Image remains “Give me a face you could love” by Katrin Sapranova on Tumblr, still used for commentary

As the Paragon makes to take Fitz and his company aboard, Fitz examines the figurehead closely, his magics taking in the liveship and his thoughts returning to his journey to the Out Islands with Thick. Perseverance finds himself rapidly integrated into the ship’s company as Fitz and his other companions are taken into conference with Brashen and Althea, with whom introductions are made. After a brief talk, in which Spark is easily accommodated, Althea is called away by ship’s business, leaving Brashen to give something of a tour of the vessel to his passengers. Fitz learns some of the crew’s background and histories, including some of the tensions ensnaring the Vestrit family, and he finds himself uncomfortably the focus of the ship’s attention.

Afterward, Fitz returns to conference with Althea and Brashen, and more of the liveship’s history is rehearsed to him. He accepts rebuke for his carelessness, and he confides in the Fool his increasing propensity towards error. The Fool offers some comfort, but Fitz continues to berate himself for his perceived follies. The Fool, however, accepts the finality of their quest together.

There is more to say about chronology in the present chapter. The Paragon asks Amber “Where have you been for the last twenty-odd years?” (214), a reasonable question that offers a useful but inexact report of the time that passed between the end of the Liveship novels and the present chapter. The question of Fitz’s age emerges again, as well (229), giving some explicitly inexact indication of how many years have passed (note this and this). There is some use in having a general sense of time, of course; there is also some use to the author in keeping things general. Fandom can be…difficult…as I’ve noted in passing. (I’m minded of Jeffrey Ford’s “The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant,” as well; it’s a good read, worth the time.) Pegging down exact dates for events in the main narrative invites readers to look for places where they do not line up, and even if verisimilitude would suggest that keeping track of specific dates is not always doable, such misalignments are hooks upon which complaints can be hung easily. Avoiding them reduces some negative commentary by denying the opportunity for it to arise.

The actions of the liveship Paragon in the present chapter also bring to mind some of the earlier work I’ve done, looking (in perhaps less detail than deserves to be done, but there’s only so much that fits into a conference paper) at sites of memory in the Elderlings corpus. I make the argument, among others, that the liveships themselves function as ongoing memorials, but in a particularly fraught fashion. The Paragon, given the circumstances of the ship’s construction and the treatment of the last Ludluck crew aboard (for information about which, see the Liveship Traders novels, my rereading of which begins here), is even more fraught than the rest of the liveships, and the fact that decades do not seem to have eased the ship’s being may have uncomfortable implications. (I had the sudden thought of comparing the liveships, generally, and the Paragon in particular, to the creature in Frankenstein. If someone’s beaten me to it, please let me know.)

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So, Here It Is, Tax Day, Again

So, here it is, tax day, again,
The end of that extended time that
Many beg to do the homework that remains
Even after school has ended
(For some, not all, of course,
Because there are classes in session even now
And Friday night’s lights and Saturday’s contest schedule beckon),
And once again, many have waited until the last to submit,
Fearing the fees and fines as they once feared the Fs that
I am pretty sure bedecked some of their report cards–
Which is to say
Not at all
Until suddenly and sharply

You can tell when the photographers were interested in the topic…
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A Rumination on the Day’s Observances

It has been a while since I’ve made much comment on one of the day’s observances–a little over five years, in fact. I’m not sure what, if anything, I have to add to my earlier comments; I still find things…fraught, perhaps more so now than then, although I think that’s not an uncommon thing, either. That is, I find a lot of things more fraught now than before, and I think other people have similar perspectives on them to a greater degree than previously. Or it seems so from where I’m sitting.

Good enough.
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Where I’m sitting does remain much as it has been. That is, the Texas Hill Country is very much like it used to be, at least in the small towns, and much of that is deliberate. There is a sense of hanging onto how things were, for certain values of how they were and for whom. There is a sense of what things ought to be, for certain values of ought and for whom. And neither of those senses have much changed in the last many years, not that I can see.

It makes for some frustration, to be sure. After all, things cannot get better if they do not change, and I and others in the local community are trying to make things better. The way they used to be done might have worked when things used to be done that way–I was not here, so I cannot say much on that score–but they have not been working so well where I can see them. It may be that things get worse, admittedly; there’s always a danger that changes will not improve things. But it is certain that they will if things do not otherwise change, and, again, they cannot improve if they remain as they are.

Just because things have always been done a certain way is not a reason, in itself, to keep doing them that way (even as the fact of newness does not make something worthwhile). I want things to get better; I work to make things get better. I could stand to have an easier time of it than I hitherto have, and I think I am not alone in that. How that works with all of the other stuff going on…I don’t know, but I’ll try to figure it out.

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Not Quite 440

They say
That nebulous they
That so many say they
Hear but so few say
They are among, that they,
That the kids in this day
And age can barely play
Except upon their screens, though they
Themselves will scarce look up. (Okay,
I’m no better for this than they
Are, as is as clear as day,
Since I use a screen, myself, to say
What I will to my angst allay.
But I see so many in the fray
Of life, proceeding day to day,
And, yes, it’s not untrue that they
Spend great parts of every day
On screens–although, again, they
Are not alone in doing so, but, hey,
We’ve got to find bad things to say
About the ones succeeding us, claim decay
In what they do and are so that we may,
Perhaps, feel better for our past heyday–
Just as was done for us. We must relay
That baton from our own parents’ day
As they did theirs, and thus assay
To keep them in their place, make them pay
For what they never purchased.

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