Class Report: ENGL 227.61205, 8 April 2017

After addressing questions from and concerns about the previous class meeting, discussion addressed issues of sourcing and concerns of paratextuals. Time was given to addressing group work, as well.

A reminder was offered about an upcoming scheduling difference. The 15 April 2017 class meeting will be conducted remotely. Students should look to their emails for a link to the appropriate online location.

Students are reminded of the following assignments’ due dates:

  • Week 6 Discussion (online before 0059 on 9 April 2017)
  • Course Project Draft (one submission from each group online before 0059 on 9 April 2017)
  • Week 7 Discussion (online before 0059 on 16 April 2017)

The class met as scheduled, at 0900 in Rm. 106 of the DeVry San Antonio campus. The class roster listed 11 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Of them, six attended, verified informally. Student participation was good. No students attended office hours.

Class Reports: ENGL 1302, Sections 02 and 03–7 April 2017

After treating concerns from the last class meeting and before, including quiz answers, discussion asked after progress on the PrEss. It then returned to Sir Thomas Malory and assigned readings.

Students are reminded of the following due dates:

  • PrEss FV (online before class begins on 12 April 2017)
  • ChEss RV (online before class begins on 24 April 2017)
  • ChEss FV (online before class begins on 5 May 2017)

Information about other assignments remains in development.

Section 02 met as scheduled, at 1000, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 14 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Twelve attended, verified informally. Student participation was subdued. Three students from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Section 03 met as scheduled, at 1100, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 16 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Fifteen attended, verified informally. Student participation was reasonably good. Four students from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Points of Departure, Chapter 19

Continued from the previous chapter, here.

𝔄s the mail-clad man emerged from the town church, he was surrounded by tumult at the heart of the town. The source thereof was soon evident; two men were arguing with great intent and vigor, standing near to an overturned cart and pointing at it. Around them, the people of the town thronged, looking on and shouting their own imprecations at first one man, then the other, or standing and talking to one another with frequent glances at the two who were at debate. The knight sighed heavily and moved towards the pair, at first threading his way through the people, but soon having to push his way past them–and meeting with their resistance, for they were free people and careful of their rights at all times. And he met with foul glances and fouler words, and some did shove against him, but the mail-clad man, knowing himself a guest in the town and new to it and its ways, drew not his sword, although he shoved back when he was shoved, and he did not stint in the use of his strength.

At last, he came to the two men who bickered, and he heard their words in which each accused the other of fault for the overturning of the cart and the spilling of that which had been in it. But just as the knight was about to speak to the resolution of the matter, having heard enough to know that the one was at fault but the other was not blameless, a rock sailed in from somewhere behind him and smote the one man on the head, that it bloodied him and dropped him to the ground. Then there was much upset, and the sounds of fighting were heard all around, and a melee of fists and feet and sticks broke out in the midst of the town around the knight. More rocks flew about, and several struck the mail-clad man where the mail did not cover him, and at the blows, he grew angry. Then did he draw his sword and called out for the melee to cease, but none of those around him heeded his words. Indeed, more rocks flew, and more of them hit the knight, cast as if in despite of him and his words.

Then the knight made to lay about him with his sword, but the words of the priest not long before rang again in his ears, speaking of bearing patiently the burdens placed upon him. And so did the knight sheathe again his sword, and with his own fists and feet he laid about, and with every blow he dealt, one of the townsfolk fell to the ground stunned. Soon enough, the knight stood alone, surrounded by those he had felled, and the throwing or rocks and shouting and fracas died down. And the two whose argument had begun the whole affair yet wrestled on the ground nearby, and the knight went to them and dragged both up to their feet, holding each by the front of the shirt tightly.

When he held them thus, he spoke to them in anger, upbraiding them for their disturbance of the peace and for inciting others to act against the peace, and he shook them vigorously as does a dog with a scrap of rag or a small beast taken in the hunt as he did, so that their teeth chattered in their heads. And all gathered around knew the knight then to be a mighty man and strong, strong in a way they had never seen, for the one man was a smith and the other a teamster, and both were large men and strong. So when the knight lifted them up and shook them as if with ease, the people marveled, for the mail-clad man was not overly large, but rather of average size. And it was not long until he himself realized the oddity of what he had done, and he set the men on their feet on the ground again and dropped his hands.

When he looked about himself, he saw that those there gathered all looked at him with fear and awe, and some looked at the sword on his hip, and there was terror in their faces. The knight saw such things only as he turned about, and his face flushed with shame that he should be so regarded, even by the commons of the town, and he returned in haste to the house of the Lord Deleiere, where he resumed the chamber that had been assigned to him. And there he knelt in prayer, and in his prayers he asked the Lord for guidance in the matter and sought to know the cause wherefore he had grown so strong in so short a time, for he had not had such strength in battle before.

From behind him, the green-clad man spoke–and he stood as if he had been long waiting for the knight to return, although the mail-clad man had not seen him when he came in. And the man in green said “Has it not been said to you, and more than once, that you have been strengthened in the task to which you are obliged? Should you not take the sudden swelling of your strength as a sign that you are acting as you ought? Rejoice, then, in being given a gift that many would dearly buy, that your work hereafter may be the easier.”

“I seek to do so,” said the mail-clad man, “although it is strange to me to be so strong now. And if I think ahead a bit, as I try to do more and more, it seems to me that if I am being strengthened against tasks to come that those tasks are likely to be mighty and dire, and I may be forgiven for being worried when even the Lord for a moment quailed at what was to come for him–and I am not so mighty as he, so I must be more concerned.”

Alms for the poor? Please click here.

Points of Departure, Chapter 18

Continued from the previous chapter, here.

𝔄s the mail-clad man recalled his perfidy and the obligation to penance still upon him, he thought it would behoove him to offer prayers in a church once again. The time of day for his formal penitential act was not come again yet, but he found no small solace in quiet contemplation, and he had known churches to be places to offer such. So he went across the open space of the town center, where there were many people bustling about to conduct the business of the day and to work to make ready for the coming celebration, and he went into the church, crossing himself as he crossed the threshold and kneeling at the steps to the altar to pray.

When he rose, he found the local priest standing not far off, watching him. The knight nodded his head to the clergyman, saying “God’s peace, Father.”

The priest raised his hand in benediction, replying “And upon you, my son.” He lowered his hand and continued. “It is not often that this church has in it a man of the sword. What brings you hither, and whence do you come?”

The knight answered him, saying “I came today as all ought to do, Father, for I came to find a moment of peace and perhaps to hear the echoes of the still, small voice of which I have been told from the lectern. And I came because it is good and right that I offer up thanks to God, from whom I have much. But as to whence I come, I must say that I am but a guest in this town, although I am a happy one, for I have been treated well. And I am come from away west most recently, where I was healed despite being wounded to the death; the one who healed me heads for Anderitum, and so I go with him, being charged to that end.”

“It seems a good thing, my son, that you do so, for it is fitting that the kindnesses done be repaid in measure as they may be. But who is it who healed you? For I know of neither chirurgeon nor physician in this place, and all the care for wounds and illness is done by the midwives and me, and I, at least, am not so skilled as I would be to do such work as well as might be done.”

“It is as I said, Father, that the one I follow here and who is bound for Anderitum healed me. The Lord Deleiere also asked him if he might tarry, in large part to see if he might tend to Sir Falias who governs this place in the name of the king, but he said that he might not for overly long. And if he cannot stay to heal a man, I think he will not be able to stay to teach a man to heal another. I know that the dealing of wounds takes longer to learn than to do, and I cannot but think that the healing of them is similar in that regard.”

“That is unfortunate for us, then, but it is no doubt as God has made it to be, and so I shall work to accept it gladly.”

“You say it is unfortunate, Father. Why say you so? Is there aught amiss in this town?”

“Nothing of particular import, my son. But any place where people dwell in this fallen world will have its share of mischance and misadventure, of animals stepping where they ought not or kicking those who tend them, of children’s play that presses too vigorously, of falls and simple illness. There is always need of healing, and so there is always need of a healer.”

“It is as you say, Father, that such need is ever present, and I sorrow that I cannot help you meet it. But it may be that I learn somewhat of healing from him whom I follow, and when my obligations to him are discharged, I may perhaps then return hither, if I would be welcomed, and I could apply that craft or art here then. But if I do encounter a healer, whether chirurgeon or physician, upon the road and that one is looking for a place to settle, I will let that person know of this town and its need.”

“That would be to the good, my son, although I cannot think that there are so many healers who wander in the ways it seems knights are prone to do. Indeed, I had not thought ever to see one, for what lord could allow so great a boon to slip away as one skilled in mending the hurts the world inflicts upon the body? Yet seeing that one has come here, and in company that attests to the healing ability, gives the hope that there are others. And perhaps it will be the case that the Lord will steer the feet of such as wander to this town, that we may all be the better for it. But if not, then it will be as the Lord wills it, and that must be held to be to the good.”

The mail-clad man bowed his head to the wisdom of the priest and recalled his own burdens and the questions he had about them. As he did, his heart was strangely gladdened, for he heard in the words that were spoken to him a balm for his own soul. For he knew himself to have concerns about what he was doing, but if what the priest had said was true, then matters unfolded according to the plan devised on high by the God who loved the world. And that meant they could not help but lead to good, even if the road was rough and the path long that reaching it would take.

He smiled again as he went back out into the town.

Alms for the poor? Please click here.

Points of Departure, Chapter 17

Continued from the previous chapter, here.

𝔗he mail-clad man pondered what the green-clad had told him of his complicity in taking advantage of the weaknesses of others. He said to him “Something somehow feels wrong in this, that you would seize upon the weaknesses of others to your own profit, and that I would benefit therefrom, as well.”

The green-clad man turned to face the knight. “Why would it so?” he asked. “Do you not, amid battle, swing your sword to where your foe’s shield is not? If his left side is all unarmored, is it not thereto that you direct your blade? And if it is there, is it not to the weakness of your opponent that you apply your strength, hiding your own weakness from the one you face? Why, then, would you begrudge me acting as you yourself do?”

The mail-clad man bowed his head. “It is as you say, truly, and if the one is as the other, then I do not rebuke you for it. Yet I would point out that there are many, and many of the most worshipful, who matched their strength to their opponent’s strength, fighting their utmost at their opponent’s utmost.”

“And that is as you say, I am sure. Yet I know that there are many such who failed in the doing, and then to what account can we claim them? And those who pit their strength against the weaknesses of those they face remain and endure, and their names are remembered and their deeds held in mind, while those who are beaten cannot claim so much.”

“Ah, but those who work against the strengths of their opponents and defeat them are held in higher regard.”

“Say you so, Sir Knight, being a follower of the Nazarene, who very much did not pit strength against strength, but bowed to strength and suffered by it? Would you rather have had it done that the one you worship unsheathed sword and flame? Yet what would that avail to faith? And it is so for the one who wins with strength against strength; the awe that proceeds therefrom is of fear, and people will soon hate that which they fear. And rightly, for it is a threat to them, and it is only prudence that will say that that which is a threat must be eliminated. Why, then, would the two kings have been at odds who fought on the day that I found you, unless they each thought the other a threat?”

“I will not presume to speak for the thoughts of kings, being far below that rank and unworthy to guess at such things therefore. But I will say this, that I have seen many fall to fighting who did not hold one another fearful. There are matters of honor to redeem, as well as the aid and succor of ladies and gentlewomen, whether or not they have been done outrage.”

“Yet even in matters of honor, Sir Knight, there is fear–fear that allowing matters to stand will mean a loss of worship. And in the defense of ladies and gentlewomen, there is a similar fear–and likely a greed for the women thus saved, an expectation of gratitude that leads from public to private assignations. And greed itself is an aspect of the fear of lack, so fear does once again drive matters towards unworth and is a response to a threat perceived.”

The mail-clad man found that he had no response to what the green-clad said then, so he held his peace and bowed his head. The green-clad man saw it and smiled, saying “I have had long and long to think on such things, as you have not, being busied with other matters. It is not to your shame that you know not how to respond. But for now, I would be alone. That you have asked me such questions prompts thoughts within me, and I must work them out in peace. Perhaps the matters of the festival in preparation will attract your interest and offer you time to reflect in another way entirely.”

“Perhaps they will.” The mail-clad man made his courtesies and left the chamber. It was only as he walked out into the sun and the sounds of the town making ready to celebrate its founding by charter that he remembered the question he had meant to ask the man in green. Namely, how he had done to the Lord Deleiere what he had done, changing his mind by looking into his eyes. And he recalled what had been done to him before, when he had earlier thought to raise his voice in question to the man to whom he was obligated. He had then found himself oddly altered, his mind changed such that it did not oppose the man in green, but obeyed him and agreed with him.

And he had been so easily dismissed just moments ago.

The fire of his anger began to rise as the mail-clad man thought he had been ensorcelled, yet so swiftly as it rose, a wet blanket inside the mind pressed down upon it, snuffing the flames. For it was sure to be a test from on high that such as had befallen him had done so, and he could not set aside such, not while his penance yet lasted.

And with that though, his mind returned to the home of the Lady Maelis and the servingwoman he had there known. He smiled at the thought, recalling what he had seen and felt and smelled and tasted and heard, turning his face up to the sun and letting its warmth fill him as the town bustled around. The commons avoided him in the main, thinking him somewhat daft for standing in the street and smiling at the sky, but he recked them now, turning over in his mind what he had done before–and he recalled that his penance was not yet done.

Alms for the poor? Please click here.

Class Reports: ENGL 1302, Sections 02 and 03–5 April 2017

After treating concerns from the last class meeting and before, discussion asked after progress on the PrEss. It then returned to Sir Thomas Malory and assigned readings before adjourning in favor of a quiz.

Students are reminded of the following due dates:

  • PrEss FV (online before class begins on 12 April 2017)
  • ChEss RV (online before class begins on 24 April 2017)
  • ChEss FV (online before class begins on 5 May 2017)

Information about other assignments remains in development.

Section 02 met as scheduled, at 1000, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 14 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Thirteen attended, verified through the quiz. Student participation was reasonably good. Three students from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Section 03 met as scheduled, at 1100, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 16 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Thirteen attended, verified through the quiz. Student participation was good. Two students from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Points of Departure, Chapter 16

Continued from the previous chapter, here.

𝔗he Lord Deleiere looked at the green-clad man and the mail-clad man who sat before him, pondering the refusal of the former to lay out his purposes just moments previously. The green-clad man returned the gaze coolly, his face bland and relaxed. The mail-clad man, though, grew tense at Deleiere’s regard, thinking that he might once again have to come to the defense of the man in green–and that the strange healings he had experienced either might or might not prove efficacious again. For they had been peculiar, and the one had happened when he was unaware of it, and such oddness can be fleeting, indeed.

At length, the master of the house spoke. “Would that I could accept on the face of it the word you have spoken, traveler,” said he. “But you have not named yourself to me, and you are not known to me, and I cannot say in faith that I have discharged my office if I let matters pass as they currently stand. So I must ask you again what the business is that you are about, or else to be shown some token of faith that I may trust and therefore trust in the one who bears it. Otherwise, I cannot take the risk with the lands and people of my lord, and I shall have to ask you to depart in haste, lord though you yourself might well be.”

The green-clad man stood suddenly and advanced towards the Lord Deleiere, looking him full in the face as he did. The mail-clad man rose, as well, readying himself for a fight he was sure would come–for he knew there were guardsmen about, and no guard could readily see such an advance and not act in turn. For his part, the master of the place rose and made ready to fight, as well, but he stopped suddenly, and his hand lowered slowly to his side. After a moment, his face relaxed, as well, and he quietly resumed his seat. The green-clad man returned to his own in turn, and the mail-clad man was left standing, confused at what he had just seen. But he did not stand long, only glancing around to see that no other threat sought to present itself, and, when comforted that none arose, he resumed his seat.

As he did so, the Lord Deleiere continued, although his voice was somewhat changed as he said “Of course you are welcome to stay here so long as you might like. Indeed, we hope that you will participate in the festival that we will be having that celebrates the founding of our town. It is not often that we have such guests as you with us at any time, much less on the day when we commemorate the town’s founding by royal charter. For we do, indeed, have such a charter, so that while we are governed by Sir Falias in the name of the king, we owe fealty to no lords else. But we do have requirements for being a person of the town, to be sure. A person has to be born here to parents who were born here, or else appointed to the town by the royal governor–and Sir Falias has been chary of making such appointments, for which we praise him. I think he would offer such to you, did you want such things, but I know that you do not, for you have business elsewhere, as you say.”

The green-clad man nodded. “We do, but we will stay for the festival. It is good to see people in joy together, and we would partake in it if we may. When will it be?”

“Within five days. Preparations are still underway, but the day is coming, as the priest says who keeps the calendar. The church stood when this place was a village only and beholden to a most foul lord who had usurped it unjustly. The records the priests have kept for long attest to such matters–which is another thing we have to celebrate in this town. For many places have not such memory, kept inviolate in writing, and their sense of who and what they are is changeable as the seasons. We remember because we are given words to look upon again and again, if we will, and so we remain as we have been, honored by kings and by the God who has emplaced them. And for it we are grateful in great measure.”

“As you should be. But for now,” and the green-clad man stood, followed by the knight and shortly by Deleiere, “we would rest, for the journey has been long so far. And then we would see what manner of place this town is, and why it has so much to celebrate these five days to come.” Deleiere nodded to the request, and it was not long before the green-clad man and the mail-clad were led to chambers in the house that were richly appointed and comfortable for so small a town.

The mail-clad man commented to that effect, and the green-clad man replied “It is a part of town life that there is wealth in it. Because the people are free, they have not the taxes to the lord and to the king to pay, so more of what they have is their own. Too, because they are free, they tend to benefit from trade, even in so small a town as this–but you will note how many people are in it and how many come through it, or did you not note the numbers of wagons of diverse types in the town as we entered? For they have come from different places, and they will to them return, but their goods and moneys may well not. And the commons, like the noble, will spend their wealth on such comforts as are available to them. It is a truth that most will do so without thought to the future, which has not seldom been to my benefit–and now to yours.”

Alms for the poor? Please click here.

Class Reports: ENGL 1302, Sections 02 and 03–3 April 2017

After treating concerns from the last class meeting and before, including PrEss RV scoring and related issues, discussion asked after progress on the PrEss. It then returned to Sir Thomas Malory and assigned readings.

Students are reminded of the following due dates:

  • PrEss FV (online before class begins on 12 April 2017)
  • ChEss RV (online before class begins on 24 April 2017)
  • ChEss FV (online before class begins on 5 May 2017)

Information about other assignments remains in development.

Section 02 met as scheduled, at 1000, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 14 students enrolled, unchanged since the last class meeting. Twelve attended, verified informally. Student participation was reasonably good. Two students from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Section 03 met as scheduled, at 1100, in Weir 111. The class roster listed 16 students enrolled, a decline of two since the last class meeting. Fifteen attended, verified informally. Student participation was somewhat restrained. One student from the class attended office hours since the previous class meeting.

Points of Departure, Chapter 15

Continued from the previous chapter, here.

𝔗he mail-clad man followed the green-clad man into a town east of the woods. When they arrived, they found it gaily bedecked, as if for a festival. Banners in many colors hung from the many buildings, particularly from those of stone in the midst of the town–a church, a house for a nobleman of some rank, a tavern, and a pavilion that had been turned into a market. People were in the streets, and there was a joy about their movements that moved the mail-clad man to smile as he followed the green-clad man through the throng towards the noble house.

In front of the house, the two were soon greeted by a guard at its door. He hailed them, saying “Travelers, the peace of the Lord be with you! What brings you to the doors of the Lord Deleiere? For he is happy to greet visitors to the town he holds in charge, but he meets with ire those who would harm his people or their homes.”

The green-clad man nodded his head slightly. “We are but travelers, as you see, who are headed towards the town that has been called Anderitum. We trade in no wares and, although my companion is armed, it is only because there are perils on the roads. We thought but to pay our respects to the master of the lands through which we proceed–although now that we see there is revelry to be made, we would perhaps be happy to stay, if we may. For joy found un-looked-for is doubly pleasing, and we would hope to be happy with you and your folk.”

The guard made reply, saying “I know of no reason why you would not be welcome to celebrate with us, for we soon commemorate the founding of the town. If you stay, you will hear the story of it, to be sure, and many times. But you seem to be richly kept and of no mean rank, so I am sure the Lord Deleiere will be happy to speak with you. If you are travelers, you will have news, and he will be happy to hear it, I’ve no doubt. We but await word from within the home that you are to be admitted.”

The word soon came, and a groom took the horses the mail-clad man and the green-clad he followed, while a servitor took the men into the home. There, they were offered food and drink. The mail-clad man refused, for though his penance was nearly done, it was not fully accomplished as yet, but the green-clad man partook in even measure. They were also offered the chance to wash the dust of the roads from their faces and hands, and that did the mail-clad man do as well as the green-clad. And when these things were done, they were taken to the chamber where the Lord Deleiere sat, and he stood to greet them. When he did, the mail-clad man bowed and the green-clad man nodded, and the lord of the home bade them welcome and had chairs set for them before him.

When the two had seated themselves, Deleiere asked them whence they had come and what they had seen, for he was eager to hear of the world outside his town and its lands, as his duties to his own lord–Sir Falias, who had fought well in years past but could ride no more for an arrow wound through his knee–constrained him thereto. The green-clad man readily assented, and he spun out the tale of their travels together, relaying much of what had happened since the battle between kings from which he had saved the mail-clad man. He said that he had done so, salving such wounds as the knight had there suffered and leading him eastward from the battle. He spoke of the Lady Maelis and their calling upon her, as well as of the town before and the stop in the woods. He said also that the knight had fought valiantly under the trees to defend him, although he said nothing of the wounds that had been taken and mysteriously healed, and he spoke of merchants and other travelers on the roads they had followed, carrying news of the new king.

To all this, the lord replied “News had reached us that a new king had taken the throne with approval of the Church and thus of God on high. Sir Falias no doubt sent a missive with his congratulations to the new king and his oath of fealty renewed to the Crown–and if he is so sworn, then those who are sworn to his service are so sworn, as well. Yet it seems to me that if you are so mighty a healer as to redeem the wounds a man suffered in so grave and hard a battle as I have heard that between the two kings must have been, my own lord Sir Falias will want to see you. The wound through his knee pains him greatly each day, and he sorrows that he cannot ride for the hurt of it. Indeed, walking is a torment to him, though he still forces himself to stride about his home and much of his holdings. But if it were the case that you could do him service of healing, I am certain he would hold himself in your debt and greatly, and the favor of a lord is no small thing.”

The green-clad man said in reply “I will consider your words, for it is as you say, that the favor of a lord is no small thing. But no healing is certain that mortal hands can render. And there are other concerns I have of which I may not speak, save to say that they take me to Anderitum and the knight here with me. They will not work to the harm of your lord or you, but they are not matters I may set aside for any cause.”

Alms for the poor? Please click here.

Another Office Piece

I have several times written about the spaces I have occupied in my years of teaching. Most of them–“Sample Profile: Morrill 411,” “Sample Descriptive Essay: Filling Weir 209,” “Sample Illustrative Definition Essay: Official Averages,” and “Sample Comparison/Contrast Essay: Officially Better”–have been on one blog or another that I have maintained in support of my teaching and other activities. That one of them was published in a major journal–“Where Writes Me”–is something of a coup. Throughout them all, though, there is a concern with the space where I do my work, and not only my work as a classroom instructor. The work I do as an academic researcher, as a scholar of the humanities, also takes place in my assigned office spaces, shaping them and reflecting them. Where I work, then, is of some importance to me. With my relocation to yet another office space, then, it makes sense that I would write about the new space, taking an opportunity to reflect yet again on how where I work influences the work I do–and how the work I do influences where I work.

The space I currently occupy at Schreiner University in Kerrville, Texas, is AC Schreiner 207, a room in one of the older buildings on campus previously occupied by a member of the part-time history faculty. Early on in its history, the building was a dormitory, and the room, measuring a bit more than 9 feet by 13 with a smallish closet, shows that history. Reaching it requires entering the one door to the building–and there really is only one–climbing a flight of stairs, and walking all the way down a narrow hallway with creaky floors; my office is on the left. It is a corner office, with windows on two sides; I typically take advantage of the natural light I am afforded by the roughly northern and western facings of those windows, keeping the overhead fluorescent light off.

For the most part, it is a plain office, with neutral walls and grayish trim. The carpet is commercial grade in a red and brown mix common to the building–although I have an area rug left behind by a previous occupant. Several file cabinets were also left behind; two of them are used to form a table, while another stands more or less empty in the corner, propping up a cork board I probably ought to hang. Plain wheeled chairs, a small desk, a computer, and a tall bookcase that is not as full as I would really like it to be flesh out the furnishings, and a few additional stacks of books and journals more or less complete the decor.

Beside one window, though, there is a hummingbird painted on the wall, its rich hues contrasting sharply with the plain paint surrounding it. I have often wondered why it is there, who painted it and why. It seems in an odd place to have been a dorm-dweller’s decoration, and what I know of my immediate predecessor in this space does not suggest that it was his work, either. Too, it seems to be flying away from the window; the easy understanding of it as an emblem of escape is thwarted thereby, and I am not sure what to make of the image. I do not often look at it, though; the computer where I do my office work faces me away from that wall.

In some respects, my current office suffers against what I had before. The classes I teach are in the building where my older office was. As such, I have a bit longer a trip to get to my classroom than I used to–and it takes me outside, which can be good when the weather is good, but is far less so when the weather is not. Too, although there were fewer people with whom to associate in the older office, I had made progress in reaching out to them, and that progress has been undone by the relocation. Also, although I have swapped out the chairs that were initially in the office for others, even those I currently have are not as nice to sit in as what I had before, and since I spend a fair bit of time in my office chairs, their comfort is an important concern. More, because the office is in an older building, there are issues of accessibility associated with it, and since one of the things an academic office needs to do is facilitate interaction with students, the restricted accessibility is something of an issue.

At the same time, my current office offers some advantages over that I held previously. It is in the same building as the department in which I teach, putting me closer to colleagues and promoting collegiality–much to my pleasure. Too, the light is better, as is the climate control. And the space is larger, allowing freer motion and connoting more importance. I feel better in it than I did in Weir 209, despite the problems that associate with the current space; I feel more like a “real” academic than I did before.

But that brings me back to a point I have addressed before: the idea of space forming academic identity. There are senses in which I am less “real” an academic than I was in New York. There, I had a full-time job, and I was secure enough in my position (although erroneously, in the event) that I felt comfortable putting things on the walls and shelves that served to identify me as an academic–degrees and awards, membership certificates and the like. While I certainly interrogated them for their validity, questioning whether they showed me as confident or in need of comfort, the fact that they were there and that I was able to externalize some of my interiority carries some meaning, makes some difference. Such is not the case in my current space. I have less out and in the open now than I did then, in no small part because I am contingent faculty and I know I am such. I dare not let so much of myself out here as I have in other places, in part because I do not relish the thought of packing much up to leave (although I have still acquired more stuff for the office since I have taken the present space).

More of my reluctance to open into the current space, however, is that I would like not to be so badly hurt again. Being contingent as I am means that I am subject to non-renewal on an all-too-frequent basis. I know it is something in which I am not alone, and I am not claiming that I am somehow especially downtrodden. But I am saying that I am vulnerable already, and the exposure of self that comes in inhabiting a space more fully–showing more of me by what is on the walls and shelves–makes me more vulnerable. It displays what I value–and therefore where I am tender and can be harmed at a touch. It is not something I want to have happen again, as it has happened to me more than once before.

I have to wonder how my reluctance to open myself into the space I currently occupy has affected the work I do. I have to wonder if my remaining somewhat closed off in putting myself into the office has left me somewhat closed off from the wellspring of ideas with which I work. Or perhaps it has instead closed me off from the sources of power upon which I draw to do the work–which may sound like melodramatic claptrap or mumbo-jumbo, but I have attested that I draw comfort from having my things around me, reminding me that I have done and so suggesting that I can and will do again. I have to wonder, then, if I am further constrained into contingency, since a space that either prompts or reflects a reluctance to move into the work keeps me from doing the work that I would need to do to secure a continuing faculty position–if anything that I can do can do so.

Works Cited