Help with NaNoWriMo

The time of the year has come around again when many people focus their attentions on generating the text of a new novel. It’s a worthy endeavor, of course; writing is a good thing to do, novels are good things to write, and I and others benefit from them existing in the world. The challenge of composing nearly two thousand words daily is a hefty one, and not everybody who sets out to address it meets it. Even so, even making the attempt earnestly and sincerely is a good thing to do. You’re on the right track as soon as you take the first step onto it.

This is still the sign, and the image is still from the NaNoWriMo site, used for reference.

Even the best writers, though, benefit from having another set of eyes on their work. Ultimately, nobody writes all alone. I’ve done a lot of writing across many years and in many contexts, so I’ve got experience with this: you always miss something. Maybe it’s because you’re in a hurry, buoyed along by the joy of having done the writing. Maybe it’s because you’re distracted, living in the world with all of the demands it makes upon a person. Maybe it’s because you know how it’s supposed to go, how glorious it looks in your head, and you see that instead of what’s on the page. Maybe it’s just an issue of skillset; you’ve got great ideas and you’ve got them on paper, but the fine-tuning and polishing is just not your forte. Whatever the reason for it is, the truth is that you’re not going to catch everything that’s on the page, even though you put it there. You won’t necessarily see that you forgot to make the connection between those two characters clear, or you might miss the notion that this other characters’ background seems really interesting and readers will want to know more!

That’s where I come in.

With nearly twenty years of experience reviewing others’ writing, ranging from middle schoolers to established scholars and in fields ranging from aerospace engineering to business, cybersecurity to education, fiction to literary analysis, poetry to psychology, I have the skills and expertise to help you hone your craft and be the best writer you can be. If you want to know if your story makes sense, if your characters are believable, if your quips are clever, or even only if you got your commas in the right places, I am here to help you. Whether you’d like chapter-by-chapter guidance and feedback or a whole-work review of what works well and what needs some support, I can offer in-depth, detailed reading and response so that you can put out the best possible product.

You’re already doing great just by taking on a project like this. Make the most of it; get set up for your consultation today! Fill out the contact form below to get started!

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Following up on “Something from Tutoring”

A while back, I worked with a tutoring client to draft a response to Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130, “My mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun,” and I wrote a post about how I went about helping the client that provided my own example of that kind of work. (Find it here.) In that post, I note similarities between the client’s assignment and the often-taught Marlowe-Raleigh-Donne sequence (“The Passionate Shepherd to His Love,” “The Nymph’s Reply to the Shepherd,” and “The Bait”), and in recent days, I had occasion to revisit my post on the Shakespearean subject. I was reminded of the events then discussed, and it occurred to me that it might be a useful exercise to put myself in the position of Donne to the already-existing Raleigh, the rebuttal to Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116.

Sorry, Billy.
Again, the Chandos Portrait at the National Portrait Gallery, used under a Creative Commons license for commentary

As a reminder, Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 reads

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

My rebuttal thereto reads

You never writ, nor no man ever loved,
If love is never love that, finding change,
Stays as it is when it first ever moved
Or strives not living patterns to arrange
In hopes of bringing its love to the mark
That looks on tempests and is not shaken.
No, use will change the shape of every bark
That plies the waves, whatever standard’s taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, oh no, but is its flow’r
And fruit that ripens not all in one go,
But in its season and appointed hour
If tended well, made better, and let grow.
No thing that is made better stays the same,
And stasis gives the lie to goodness’s claim.

Following the pattern, to make this work, I’ll need to continue to use the Shakespearean sonnet structure of fourteen lines of iambic pentameter rhyming in three quatrains and a couplet, with a (somewhat shaded) turn into the couplet. Too, to stand in place of Donne in response to Raleigh, I will need to put myself in position to flirt with the narrator of the rebuttal–something, to follow the Shakespearean example, like making a pass at Beatrice after she has rebuffed Benedick. Further, the dominant metaphor will need to shift fairly substantially; Marlowe and Raleigh work in the pastoral, while Donne pivots to angling, so I would need to move from the nautical and agrarian to something else, entirely.

Farming and boating are both active, engaged ways to make a living. A deviation from that would be something like my once-intended line of work: professing the humanities. Fortunately, I know enough about doing that (or convinced at least a few people that I did) that I can discuss it convincingly. Too, the narrator being addressed has to be considered; what does such a narrator de/value? The rebuttal is a rebuke of hubris, the conceit on Shakespeare’s part that he is able to universalize in such a way as he purports to do; so much must be avoided in the new poem (to the extent possible, knowing as I do that there is arrogance in any act of writing, something of the “I have important things to say and you need to read them“). I fancy, as well, that the rebutting narrator values growth and change, which does raise the possibility of leaving things behind (which Shakespeare’s narrator really cannot consider with love as a set constant).

With such in mind, I come up with the following:

In no minds’ marriage would I interfere,
Nor yet presume to speak of such with you,
Who, though in but a moment, has made clear
What thoughts are held on how to carry through
A life of love. Instead, I turn a page
I’ve read before and read again the words
I have long known, and in my later age
I hear in them what I’d not in youth heard.
So may love be, itself a constant thing
That is itself and e’er itself remains,
While those who fall to Time’s long sickle’s swing
Will alter in what they will from it gain.
The book is open; read whoever will,
And in the reading by love be well filled.

I hope the reading pleases.

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This Morning

I do so love a chilly clear morning
The moon off full staring silently down
At crisping grass waving gently silvered
In the quiet before the world wakes

That’s no battle station…
Photo by Ben Mack on Pexels.com

It never lasts
Arien running her appointed course as Tilion dallies yet again
And the books demand my attention as they ever do
Where a steaming mug awaits

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series: Entry 372: Blood of Dragons, Chapter 6

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.


Following a markedly acerbic message from Ronica Vestrit to the Cassarick bird-keeper, “Dragon Blood” begins with Ellik presenting the captive Selden to the Duke of Chalced, who comments dimly on Selden’s appearance. The situation of those present is described in detail, and Selden is abused once again before he identifies himself and what had been his intended purpose. Selden also lays out the betrayal that led him to his current situation, and he notes that he might well be ransomed. The Duke refuses, however, citing his seemingly draconic nature as a reason to keep him. Selden notes his heritage and is again abused. The Duke considers his options and the effects that having eaten of Selden had had upon him, and he determines to have Chassim tend to him. The Duke contemplates further, finding himself reasonably pleased.

Nothing quite so nice as this…
John Copely’s The Sick King at the Art Institute of Chicago, used for commentary

Elsewhere, Tintaglia approaches Trehaug, happily anticipating being served by Malta, Reyn, and Selden. Arriving, she summons the three, occasioning panic among the Rain Wilders present. At length, Jani Khuprus addresses the dragon, confirming that Malta and Reyn are gone and resisting Tintaglia’s attempts at ensorcelling her. Others react poorly to the presence of the dragon in their midst, and, after some upset, Tintaglia is sent on towards Kelsingra, the location of which is known to her.

Aboard the Tarman, Leftrin eagerly anticipates arriving at Kelsingra as he and his crew and passengers approach it. Reyn starts at the sight of the outskirts, and the pair of them marvel to see so many dragons aloft as they do. Others aboard join them in the joy of the sight, and Leftrin is put ill at ease by the sudden interest of Spit in the liveship. He does consider, however, the pursuit that yet follows, and he watches with equanimity as the pursuing ship presumes to fire upon Spit. The dragons begin to harass the vessel before falling into a game of their own, and Lefrtin and Hennessey confer about the changes to them.

I find myself taken by Ronica’s message. I know biographical criticism is always problematic. I know, too, that affective reading is at least as problematic. I cannot help but be put in mind of a number of more experienced women I’ve known, however, and I cannot help but think that something of the author’s own annoyance at some delivery person or another bleeds over into the text. (Given the publication date of the novel, 2013, I find myself wondering if something like this was at work for Hobb as it had been for me.) Certainly, it rings of authentic experience to me, the lived real, and that is a helpful grounding in a book that makes much of flying, acid-spitting metamorphic reptiles and those they usefully and decoratively mutate for their own ends.

The cold conniving at work in Chalced also strikes me. Again, given the times involved in publication, I have to wonder if Hobb is responding in some ways to Martin and his swelling popularity, Game of Thrones being on screens and all. Admittedly, Hobb’s characters were prone to plotting ere ever Benioff and Weiss got going on the show (about which more here), with Shrewd, Chade, and Regal doing more than their shares of such in the Farseer novels, and none of it is particularly savory. Still, Shrewd and Chade at least presented themselves as acting in the interests of the realm rather than themselves, with Chade being somewhat belligerent on that score; reprehensible as no small part of what the elder Farseer half-brothers plotted was, it was not about them. And, reprehensible as no small part of what the elder Farseer half-brothers plotted was, it was not cannibalism.

Neither is the case with the Duke of Chalced. I believe I’ve commented on the almost cartoonish villainy in play with him, almost as if he joins Mumm-Ra in pleading directly with ancient spirits of evil. He is clearly The Bad Guy here, and he seems worse, somehow, than the Pale Woman of the Tawny Man novels; she, at least, had some vision to attempt to enact, and one not entirely unsympathetic, although the means used to attempt the ends are foul. The Duke, though, appears only to serve himself, and if a reader can feel pity for a person beset by age and illness, it is far harder to incline towards a slaver who will feast upon the flesh of the still-living.

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About Bob

Bob is just a normal guy.
Things happen and he wonders why
They cannot go another way;
Such thoughts hound him every day.

Mmm. Fractals.
Photo by Anni Roenkae on Pexels.com

Bob heard that he can change the world,
And that idea once had twirled
Around his mind in days now gone,
In childhood when such belong.

Bob has a job. He earns his pay
By going in, day after day,
To do the work others assign,
Brings in the proverbial dime.

Bob may well not be at ease
Not doing what he might well please,
But what would please won’t pay the bills,
So he does what another wills.

Bob cannot see another way,
Cannot find the means to say
That he would want some other life;
It’s been cut out, but by what knife?

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Ready to Go

Sitting in the corner
Thinking up a song
The bard awaits a summons
Hopes it won’t be long
Before the tune is called for
And played to the delight
Of souls in joy assembled
Long into the night

Usually this kind of thing, right?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The scribe is at his desk
He waits with pen in hand
Eager now to answer
The written word’s demand
To leave behind a record
That will for long remain
And echo in the eye
Longer than the bard’s refrain

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series: Entry 371: Blood of Dragons, Chapter 5

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.


Following a charged clandestine message to Trader Finbok, “Taking the Leap” opens with Sedric and Carson urging their dragons along towards an old road. The dragons complain along the way, with Spit (the dragon Carson tends) taunting Relpda at some length. Carson is able to persuade Spit down, Sedric following more slowly, and to some merriment. Relpda, however, is incensed and startles all present by leaping into the air and flying unaided. Her performance inspires the other dragons, led by Spit, and the assembled keepers exult in seeing their dragons aloft as they ought always to have been. Sedric is initially afraid for Relpda as Spit pursues her, but Carson informs him that Spit but makes a mating attempt.

The copper queen, herself
Relpda by Catsbood on DeviantArt, used for commentary

Elsewhere, Hest is surprised to find himself enjoying Cassarick. He is also able to ferret out a fair amount of gossip regarding the Tarman and Leftrin’s sudden departure. Satisfied that Redding has had enough time to accomplish his errands, Hest makes to return to his lodgings, only to find his assailant awaiting him. The assailant rebukes Hest for his deviation from orders and coldly informs him that Redding is dead, and he puts Hest to yet more grisly tasks as he lays out his own personal stakes in his errands.

I note with some interest the present chapter’s motion toward the urban / rural divide. Admittedly, in such societies as the Realm of the Elderlings novels present, there is less sharp a distinction between the two; the cities that are shown tend to be port cities of one sort or another and closely linked therefore to their agricultural and similar surroundings, rather than towering metropoles that can seemingly ignore the work of farmers and others in the surrounding lands. Jamaillia is perhaps the closest to a modern metropole yet shown, and even its overbuilt presence differs substantially from contemporary conceptions of what the city is or ought to be. Even so, in the early United States to which I see Bingtown and the Rain Wilds as most akin, there was a distinction between life in cities and that away from them, and not only in terms of access to information and materials (although certainly in them), and that distinction seems to be in place in the present chapter–if with something of a twist.

Like many, Hobb presents the rural as superior to the urban in the present chapter; Sedric’s city life is a hindrance to his understanding, here, while Carson’s rural expertise enables him to be more effective and insightful. So much is a commonplace. The twist comes in the variation on moralizing that often accompanies the presentation of the urban / rural divide and the privileging of the latter. In most cases, the rural is presented as morally purer than the urban, adhering more closely to “traditional” norms of civility and continence. (Yes, in real-life cases, this does tend to align with conservative ideologies in terms of “what ought to be,” and it is an ideal which many rural communities fail to attain, even if they do not openly discuss it outside themselves. It also tends to be racially coded, with non-dominant populations being ascribed “immoral” practices. That so much presents problems is hopefully obvious.) Yet here, it seems that the rural life Carson represents is more tolerant and accepting, if not outright celebratory, of relationships than is the urban life Sedric represents. In Bingtown, Sedric must conceal who he is; in the Rain Wilds, he is under no such obligation.

Does this mean Kelsingra is an incipient Utopia? Perhaps; I do not have More’s work in front of me to make the comparison. But it is a prospect, and I would love to see if someone else has done the reading to find out.

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A Familiar Tyranny, One of (Too) Many

Even after all the years of doing it
After all of them I’ve seen before
Again and again and again
I still quail to see an empty page before me
Waiting for me to fill it with the work of my pen
Leave traces of myself behind in ropy trails
I hope to see outlast me

I know the hesitation well.
Photo by Lum3n on Pexels.com

I lift the pen
Put my fingers to the keys
Trying to open the inner taps
And they sometimes flow freely
But just as often
I have to work the pump for a while
Before anything will flow
And even then
It’s often silty
Not the best tasting drink

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Oh, I Would Like to Write a Book

Oh, I would like to write a book
At which someone would take a look
And read the words I put inside;
Though they’d be covered, I’d not hide
The way I feel about this place,
The things that I must daily face
To find my way and make my name.
Oh, I’d not mind if I found fame;
I’d be okay to be liked well
The more so did it help to sell
Another book that I might write
And release for the delight
Of those who liked the first I wrote.
But if I will on that tide float,
I first must flood with words the page;
The script must come before the stage.

Yes, one of these.
Photo by Victor on Pexels.com

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A Robin Hobb Rereading Series: Entry 370: Blood of Dragons, Chapter 4

Read the previous entry in the series here.
Read the next entry in the series
here.


After a message heralding rewards for information about Alise or Sedric and comments from Reyall to Detozi about new security measures on bird-borne messages, “Opening Negotiations” begins with Hest and his current companion, Redding, together in Cassarick, Hest musing aspersively on the available lodgings. Hest reflects on the businesses that bring him to the remote Rain Wild city and upon his own role in those dealings. He chafes at his traveling companion and rehearses the news that he has been able to glean thus far before dismissing Redding and settling in to wait for an expected meeting. As Redding pries, Hest distracts him with selected truths about his intentions and business entanglements, and he purposes to send him onward in his own place.

Something of the setting, maybe?
Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Pexels.com

Aboard the Tarman, Leftrin sights a dragon, informing him that he approaches Kelsingra. That the dragons have begun to fly pleases him, and as Reyn agitates for haste, Leftrin calms him. He is put ill at ease by signs of pursuit, however, and considers both the implications of that pursuit and the signs of dragons’ presence.

Also aboard the Tarman, Reyn and Malta confer about their son, whose progress and development are described. Reyn urges Malta to care for herself, and they talk together about the area of Kelsingra. Tillamon, emerging quietly, echoes Reyn’s suggestions to her sister-in-law and offers to watch Phron while his parents refresh themselves. The couple note Tillamon’s happiness, and she notes that it comes from her budding relationship with Hennesey, and Malta calms Reyn’s reaction to the same.

As I reread the present chapter this time around, it occurs to me that the novel is still in its expositional phase, presenting materials to help orient readers who join the Elderlings corpus at this point rather than at any previous point in it. While it is the case that such entry does not make for an ideal reading experience, it is also the case that such entries continue to happen. In my own professional life, I am asked to do write-ups of books in series when I’ve not read the previous volumes (and I remain available to do such work for you; see below). It’s sometimes a challenge to do so, of course; series are written with an eye toward readers being broadly familiar with what has happened in earlier-set volumes. But even aside from professional concerns such as mine, with clients asking for book 2 of 3 or 3 of 5, sometimes readers stumble into series later in them, finding a later volume in a second-hand bookstore and having to back-fill. It’s easier now, perhaps, than in my youth, but it still happens, and it’s still to a novel’s credit that it works to ease such readers into their narratives.

I have to note, too, the classist commentary in the final section of the chapter. Being an older brother, I can sympathize to some degree with Reyn’s protectiveness. As I write this, my brother is 35 (I’m 40), and I still feel the call to step in on his behalf. The thing is, I don’t answer it anymore; he’s a grown man, and I’ve long known it. Reyn’s not in a position not to know his sister’s an adult and capable–and he’s got more than enough to worry about with Phron. Too, Malta has things right; the focus of Tillamon’s affection is gainfully employed in a trade not likely to see decline in his lifetime, and there are far worse things than to take up with someone who works a physical job for a living.

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